


Thin Ice

by amycooper



Category: due South
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Call of the Wild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-09 10:02:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12274143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amycooper/pseuds/amycooper
Summary: When a trip for supplies goes wrong, can Ray keep Fraser alive?





	1. Chapter 1

Half asleep, Ray rolled towards the other side of the bed, only to find the space empty and cold. He threw a hand over only to confirm it: he was alone. He groaned, opening his eyes as he sat up. It was still dark outside. Okay, he thought, granted that didn’t necessarily mean anything out in the fucking Territories. They went weeks without any sunlight and hell when the sun finally did rise the “day” lasted less than forty-five minutes. But that was back in January; it was April now and the days were starting earlier and earlier, the nights growing shorter.

Fraser popped his head into their bedroom. “Oh good, you’re awake. I was hoping to get an early start.”

“Frase, it’s not even dawn yet,” Ray complained.

“Ah, but the sun will be rising soon, Ray, and I want to be ready for it,” Fraser proclaimed before disappearing again, but not before Molly could slip through the door. The Alaskan Husky began licking his face until he gave up on his chances of getting anymore sleep.

Ray groaned as he slipped his feet onto the floor and gave Molly a quick pet. Fraser had been going on about sledding to town for supplies for a little over a week now but was thwarted by a series of events. Why he was so keen on doing it as soon as possible, Ray could not understand, but he was.

“Probably stir crazy like me,” Ray thought, pulling out some clothes from the dresser. The two had holed up in what Fraser had initially called his father’s cabin, which made no sense to Ray since his father never lived in it. That cabin had burned to the ground; this one Fraser built himself through a series of vacations, occasionally with Vecchio’s aid. When they had crashed here as the winter became too harsh for their quest, the exterior was finished but the interior held little more than a wood burning stove, a pile of logs (thoughtfully provided by Frobisher while they were out) and a cot. Between a series of supply runs and a lot of lumber from surrounding forests, the two of them had turned it into their cabin, complete with kitchen space of sorts, tables, chairs and-Ray’s favorite-the bed.

When Ray finally stumbled out of their bedroom, Fraser was waiting with a cup of coffee, which Ray gratefully took. Dief had already lay claim to his chair so he took another.

“You shouldn’t have stayed up so late,” Fraser chided, trying to take a seat only to find Molly had stolen it. He gave Dief a look until he reluctantly got up.

“Late. Fraser, the sun didn’t even go down until eleven!” Ray said. “How could I go to bed when it was still light outside?”

“Ray, it set at 10:52pm, not eleven and besides, you’ll have to get used to it. Come the end of May, it won’t set at all.”

By the time the pair had finished a quick breakfast, the sun was indeed up. Fraser and Ray donned their outdoor layers and headed over the the dogs, with Dief and Molly in tow. The rest of the sled dogs were excited. Fraser had fed them already, when it was still dark, so they were excited and ready to go. That enthusiasm took off to absurd levels once Fraser started hooking them up to the sled. Ray gave Molly another pet before letting Fraser hook her up to the sled. Molly was the youngest of Fraser’s sled dogs and the only one of the group that was born after Fraser had given the dogs to Frobisher to care for while he was in Chicago. One of Fraser’s dogs had passed, but another had puppies. Frobisher sold all the pups but Molly, who replaced the old dog. Consequently all the dogs remembered and adored Fraser and Molly was the only to prefer Ray.

Ray finished loading up the sled just as Fraser leashed Dief up at the front.

Fraser took a deep breath. “It’s a beautiful spring day, Ray.”

“Looks a lot like winter.” Ray said. “I can see my breath.”

“Now how can you say that Ray,” Fraser paused, turning to him, his breath creating great puffs that twinkle in the early sun. “Last night only reached -14.”

“Oh, yeah. Only,” Ray responded. “So warm.”

“If it makes you feel better, that’s around 6.5 in Fahrenheit,” Fraser said.

“Oh, that’s a lot better.” Truth was, that was nothing compared to the temperatures he’s lived through at this point, but he isn’t about to bring that up.

“And the days are positively scorching for this time of year.” Fraser said.

While Ray would not have used the word scorching, it had crept above freezing every day that week. It even hit 45F two days ago. He was surprised to find himself ditching his hat and gloves by mid-day. Below him, the snow had become a hard pack and somewhat slippery, leaving he and Fraser to leave the snow boots behind in favor of traction cleats. Still there had to be nearly a foot of hard pack snow beneath them, maybe more. It had been a snowy winter.

Fraser gave the cry to the dogs and then, they were off into the Canadian wilderness. As the dogs pulled, Ray looked around him for other signs of spring. The snow was harder, the air warm, and the sun shone but he wasn’t Fraser and couldn’t make out any other differences. Ray had learned a lot in the six months since he moved up here with Fraser: how to build a fire, how to drive a dog sled, how to hunt; but he still had so much to learn.

So Ray watched the Canadian countryside as they zoomed through. It would take two hours to get to town, so there was little else to do anyway. The sun, still hanging low in the vibrant sky, glowed through the evergreens forest. The land was lush, relatively speaking, in this stretch of the taiga. Numerous shallow pools, lakes and minor streams dotted the landscape, though all under such a layer of ice and snow that it wasn’t always easy to note where they were. It was hard to believe that eventually all this snow would melt, exposing a green world all around them.

Now, the great MacKenzie River, that was easy to make out, even with all the snow. Ray nearly had a heart attack the first time he saw trucks driving down the mighty frozen river, but apparently that was common up here in the north country; rivers becoming roads. The river froze so thick that cars could safely drive upon it. He and Fraser had crossed it monthly for supplies.

To Ray’s surprise, Fraser signaled for the dogs to stop instead of leading them straight across. As the dogs came to a stop, Ray stood up.

“What’s up, Frase? We’re only halfway there.”

“Ray,” Fraser said in that tone that suggested he was about to part some ancient inuit Wisdom to him. “Ray, Ray, Ray. It’s been so warm.”

“Yeah? And?”

Fraser pulled a pole off the sled, then some rope. “I want to test the ice before we take the sled over. Here, help tie this rope to me.”

Under Fraser’s guidance, Ray helped him create a type of harness around Fraser. Then Fraser tied the other side of the rope to the sled. As Fraser walked onto the ice, Ray took hold of the length of rope.

“So, this melts?” Ray called out.

“Oh yes, Ray. Every year.” Fraser called back. “I’m afraid our town trail will be cut off then and we’ll have to either use a boat or order supplies by plane.” Fraser would take a couple small steps then ram the pole into the ice. Ray could see little chips fly everywhere each time but Fraser seemed satisfied as he kept advancing.

“Then why don’t we just go west for supplies then?” Ray yelled back, his hand loosening its hold on the rope. Fraser seemed fine and besides, he was tied to the sled and the dogs.

Fraser paused briefly. “There's at least five rivers between us and Aklavik.” He pounded the ice ground with the pole before shuffling forward. “Granted they aren’t nearly as big as the MacKenzie river, but that would mean we’d have to carry a canoe from one river to the next.”

“An’ let me guess. No roads, not bridges.” Ray said.

“No! No Roads! No Bridges!” Fraser was yelling now since he was getting further out.

“Well, at least we’ll get to visit Maggie!” Ray yelled back. Maggie lived just east of town and they visited each other fairly frequently after he and Fraser settled into their cabin. Yeah, there was some initial awkwardness given his and Fraser’s recent relationship change, but Maggie proved quite accepting of it and they both enjoyed her company.

“Yes!” Fraser yelled back. The river was massive, roughly half a mile across at this crossing and even wider upstream a little from where they were. He was starting to run out of rope.

“I need more line. Bring the dogs on the ice a little!” Fraser called back, “But not too far. I’ve got to test it all the way across.”

Before Ray could turn around and convey the order to the dogs, Dief was already leading them onto the ice at a slow, cautious walk.

“Deaf my ass,” Ray smirked, walking with the dogs.

Molly whined.

“No, you didn’t tell him. He wasn’t even looking at you.” Ray said as the dogs settled down at their new spot, their breath puffing like smoke through the air.

Molly gave him what he interpreted as a wide doggie grin. Her tongue hanging from her mouth. Dief looked expectantly at Ray.

“Now don’t you try to butter me up for treats in town, cuz-”

“Ray!”

Ray whipped around. Fraser was facing him now, at the midpoint of the river. “I don’t like this. Ice is too thin out here to take the-”

There was a cacophony of noise: the thunderous crack like lightening as the ice below Fraser gave way, the wiz of the rope running through Ray’s thickly gloved hands, the ear-splitting screech as the sled was pulled towards the new hole, the woof and yipping of confused dogs, finding themselves dragging on the ice, and Ray’s own voice, screaming, just screaming. Suddenly the dogs found their legs and held the sled against the strain. It all just stopped, all at once, all together.

Everything was eerily silent. Fraser was under the ice.


	2. Chapter 2

“Fraser!”  Ray screamed and began pulling on the rope, or rather tried to pull on the rope.  He could barely tug it though, as the rapid river pulled forcefully at Fraser’s body.  The only thing that kept Fraser from being lost forever downstream was his anchor: the sled and dogs.

Behind Ray, Diefenbaker howled.

Diefenbaker.  The sled!  Dropping the rope, Ray raced to the sled, picking it up off its side.  He was barely on the footboards  when he yelled, “Come gee!  Come gee!”

Diefenbaker looked between Ray and the hole where Fraser once stood, obviously torn.  He whined.

“I promise you Dief, we’re getting him out, not leaving him.  You just gotta trust me on this.  Come on, Dief!  Come Gee!”

Dief led the dogs slowly to the right, turning the sled around so it faced away from the hole.

“Hike!  Hike!” Ray yelled.  The dogs strained in their harnesses.  Ray watched as the sled gained slow inches at a time.  “Hike!  Hike!”

Inch by inch, they moved forward pulling more of the line in.  “Come on Frase, we’re gonna save you.” Ray chanted under his breath.  Fraser once boasted that he had excess lung capacity,  Ray sure hoped it was helping him now because Ray wasn’t sure how many minutes Fraser had been under.  It felt like years.

Suddenly the sled jerked to a stop.  Looking forward, Ray could see the dogs were still straining, looking back, Ray could see a wet, horrifically unmoving lump floating in the hole: Fraser.  They had to get him over and out!  

“Hike!  Hike!”  The dogs pulled.  “Hike!  Hike!”  

With a  suddenly jolt they were moving forward!   “Whoa!  Whoa!” Ray yelled, slowing the sled with the claw brake then jumping off before it had quite stopped.  He could see Fraser’s body slide forward on the ice before coming to a stop at the river’s edge.

“Oh God!  Fraser!” Ray took off at a dash.  “Don’t be dead don’t be dead don’t be dead don’t be dead…”

But as Ray approached he could hear Fraser taking in great gasps of air.

“Hey, buddy.” Ray said, kneeling down.  Fraser stared up, looking dazed, and breathing with great gasping gulps.  Whatever Fraser’s lung capacity was it enough, though just barely.

Ray pulling off his gloves, Ray grabbed hold of Fraser and pulled him upright so he could breathe better.  Fraser was a complete dead weight, sagging into Ray’s embrace but he was alive.  Ray’s wide smile melted though as he realized: Fraser wasn’t shivering.  That water had to be  around 32F and the air something around 25F and Fraser wasn’t shivering.

“Oh shit.”  Ray stood and dragged his partner onshore, laying him down in the snow.  Fraser’s breath was becoming more even, but he was still  limp and looking sluggishly dazed.  

“Shit, shit, shit!” Ray raced to the sled, unhooking Dief on the way but when he got to the sled he hesitated.  Set up camp here or head back home?  The cabin should still be warm, had plenty of firewood, and he could easily warm drinks, but it was an hour away.  If he set up camp here, he could concentrate on immediately warming Fraser, but they had no firewood and very limited ways to warm him.  Fraser insisted shared body heat actually had limited benefits. 

Fuck.

What would Fraser do?

Looking back, he could see Fraser start to move around sluggishly.  He made his decision, he just hoped he wouldn’t regret it.  He grabbed what he needed and ran back to his partner.

Dief was already nudging Fraser and whining.  Fraser was calling Diefenbaker over and over again at a low, slurred drone.

Ray had to work quickly.  He started by undressing Fraser.  He managed to remove his drenched parka, but when he got to Fraser’s snowpants they gave him some trouble.

“This we do not have time for,” Ray muttered pulling out his hunting knife and tore through the snow pants and then the rest of Fraser’s clothes.  “That would have been fuckin’ hot another set of circumstances, wouldn’t it Fraser?”  He didn’t wait for a reply but got Fraser out of the wet clothes as quickly a possible.  Naked was better than wet, he remembered, but Fraser wouldn’t have to be exposed to the elements for long.

Ray put his hat off and on Fraser’s head, then started stripping out of his own parka and snowpants.  “We’ll get you warmed up Fraser, don’t you worry.”

Fraser murmured something Ray couldn't make out and closed his eyes.

“Oh no you don’t,” Ray said as he started to dress Fraser.  “You are not checking out on me.  You took me to your cabin and you made me promises in the night and I intend on insuring that you keep them.”

Once the snow pants were on, Ray began swatting Fraser’s face.  After a few seconds, Fraser frowned and started to try to swat away Ray’s hand.

“Wakey-wakey,” Ray said.  

“Trying sleep,” Fraser whined.  Actually whined.

“No. No napping Fraser,” Ray said, pulling him into a sitting position so he could get the parka on.  Ray might have a smaller frame than Fraser, but the parka was made to be worn with several layers of clothes underneath.  Since Fraser had nothing on underneath, it fit well enough.  Ray put his gloves on Fraser and half carried, half dragged him to the sled.

“Dief, in with Fraser,” Ray said, after he heaved Fraser onto the cargo bed.  Dief didn’t need to be told twice.  He hoped in and settled down half on top of Fraser and half next to him.  Ray piled whatever blankets he could find on top of the pair, making sure to wrap Fraser’s bare feet first.  Once Ray was satisfied that he had Fraser as bundled up as he could, he took out the thermos and poured him a cup of hot tea and helped him take a few sips.  Fraser started to lift his arm out of the blankets to take the cup but Ray placed a hand on him, stopping him.

“You need to stay in the blankets, Frase,” Ray said.  “Now drink.”

“I’m going to overhead,” Fraser grumbled.

“No, you are not.  You’re hypothermic,”

“I am not,” Fraser said.  

Ray rolled his eyes.  “Fraser, you’re slurring your speech and you’re cold to the touch.”

“Ray, ‘m fine.  Need to drive the dogs,” Fraser said.

“I got the dogs,” Ray said, hoping he was right.  “Now drink.”

He got Fraser to drink about half the thermos before capping it and replacing it. Next he hurried off and retrieved Fraser’s parka and boots.  The rest of the wet-no now frozen-clothes would have to wait until he returned.  They returned.

Then he went to Molly. 

“Molly girl, Dief’s taking care of Fraser.  Wanna lead?”  

Molly licked his face, so he took that as a yes.  He moved her up to the front.  She was the least experienced of the pack, but the most responsive to him whereas the others all had a clear preference for Fraser so he was hoping she’d be easier to command.

Once Molly was harnessed up front, Ray called out: “Hike! Hike!” and they were off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, please don't take this as any kind of medical recommendation on how to handle hypothermia. I had a lot of internal debating on whether Ray should set up came or continue on. In the end, my decision to have him head home was based on what I thought Ray would do and what I wanted the story to do, not on what was the most medically sound decision. Similarly I suspect the more medically trained might be yelling at me right now for having Dief ride with Fraser, since in researching this I have learned people suffering more severe stages of hypothermia are more prone to organ damage even by simple things like sharing a sled with a wolf. In short, Ray does some things right and some things wrong. Don't take medical advice from Ray.
> 
> Some terms:  
> Gee - Go right  
> Come Gee - make a 180 degree right turn (basically so you’re facing in the opposite direction)  
> Hike - Go. I've learned mush is not commonly used in real life. "Let's go" is apparently also common.  
> Whoa - Stop  
> Footboards - the part the people stand on and steer from the back  
> Bed - the part where a second person can sit and/or supplies are carried on (also called a basket or a cargo bed)  
> claw brake - A break you step on located on near the floor on the footboards. It doesn't actually stop the sled, just slows it down.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So between some drama at work and my grandfather landing in ICU this weekend, I did not get as much writing done as I wanted. I didn't finish the story as I anticipated. On the bright side, I was able to get a smallish chapter out for you to enjoy (I hope). I'm aiming to complete the story by next Friday.

Ray never drove the sled before, not like this.  Sure, Fraser had given him lessons a few times, but generally speaking, Fraser drove the sled.  And Fraser’s connection with Diefenbaker and the wolf’s alleged deafness meant commands were never uttered, which Ray learned was rare if not unheard of.  Ray never had to drive the sled without assistance and never for more than a couple of miles.  Certainly never all the way home.  

 

They’d taken the supply run enough times that Ray wasn’t so worried about getting lost but he was terrified of flipping the sled.  He wasn’t sure if Fraser could take it in his present condition.  So he wanted to drive slow hoping it would keep the ride smoother but he also wanted to drive fast.  The faster they go, they sooner they’re home, the sooner Fraser would be warming up properly.

 

Molly kept at an even a medium speed so he followed her lead, hoping she knew what she was doing.  As he hoped, she followed his commander perfectly.  Cutting the sled through the plains and scattered evergreen forests of the MacKenzie basin.  Coming in and out of view as they rode in and out of forest, and up straight ahead Ray could see the ever familiar Richardson mountains, which cut a line between the Territories and the Yukon.  It still impressed him that he and Fraser had scaled them.  Even at a distance they were a formidable sight, even if they were one of the lesser mountain ranges in the region.

 

Ray shivered as the sled and its dogs cut through the countryside.  It was approaching midmorning and unlike most days in the last week, it showed no signs of breaking the freezing mark.  It wasn’t so bad at first.  Ray was dressed in enough layers that the 25F or so weather didn’t bother him much, but now steel gray clouds were rolling in, blocking the sun.  The wind had started to pick up.  As Ray estimated it, they’d be home before the snow actually began to fall, which was good, but it was getting too chilling to be out without a coat, no matter how many layers he had on, which was bad.  He needed to get warm, or he’d risk succumbing to hypothermia himself before he could get Fraser home.

 

“Woah!  Woah!”  Ray called out while simultaneously using the claw break to slow the pack.  Once they were at a standstill Ray rubbed his hands.  Then, dancing a little against the cold, Ray fished out the thermos and check on Fraser.

 

“Who’s driving the sled?” Fraser asked, blinking slowly.  Not good. Internal alarm bells started going off in Ray’s head yet again.  Not good.

  
“I am, Fraser,” Ray said, offering a drink to Fraser.

 

“Why aren’t I?” Fraser asked.

 

“Because you’re the hypothermic patient and I’m your knight in shining armor,” Ray said as Fraser drank.

 

“Huh?”  

 

Now this was something.  Normally Fraser was so on the ball, so knowledgeable.  Now he could barely follow the conversation.  Ray supposed this would be something like what it would be like if Fraser got drunk-not that he ever drank.  Under different circumstances this would be amusing, something to tease about.  Instead it terrified him.

 

“You know, hypothermia.  From falling into the MacKenzie River.”

 

“Maggie can’t visit us until the river freezes,” Fraser mumbled.

 

“Fraser?”

 

“Mmm,” Fraser said.  As Ray took a sip for himself, Fraser’s eyes slowly closed but before Ray could react, Diefenbaker was nudging him.  “What?”

 

“Good boy Dief,” Ray said.

 

Dief gave him a look.

 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to be condescending, Dief.  Just, keeping waking him up like that.”

 

“But I want to nap,” Fraser complained.  His speech, Ray noted, was coming slow and slurred, worse than before.  Forget steadiness, they needed to get home fast..

 

“And I want to make it home with you still alive,” Ray said, pulling out a blanket that belonged to his bedroll.  He felt horrible taking it, but he was still shivering and if he succumb to hypothermia too, then they’d both die.  Besides, Fraser still had his parka, gloves, hat, and multiple blankets plus Dief to keep him warm.  That should be enough for the meantime.  He hoped.

 

It didn’t stop him from feeling guilty about doing it.

 

Ray took another quick sip of the thermos before putting it away, getting back on the sled and urging the dogs onward. With his mind chewing over Fraser’s imminent and inevitable fate, Ray barely noticed the countryside for the last leg of the trip.  A half an hour and an eon of worry later, the dogs were pulling up in front of the barn aside of their cabin.  Ray quickly unstrapped them and let them loose in the barn before turning to Fraser.  

 

His eyes were closed.  

 

Diefenbaker whined and nudged into him.  Fraser mumbled and rolled his head, but his eyes didn’t opened.

 

“Shit, shit, shit,” Ray started chanting as he unstrapped the Fraser.  Diefenbaker jumped out and ran towards the door.  

 

“Fraser, Fraser, wake up!”  Ray patted Fraser’s face.  After a moment Fraser’s eyes cracked open.

 

“Fraser, buddy.  You’ve got to stay awake!”

 

But Fraser eyes slid close all the same.

 

“Fraser!  Come on, Fraser!  Don’t leave me!”  Ray cried out to him.  Then he restarted a his litany of curses as he manhandled Fraser out of the sled.  They grew more colorful when he got to the door and was faced with the challenge of opening it with stiff hands while carrying a somnolent mountie.  It wasn’t easy and ended with Ray resting Fraser against the wall before he could finally push it open.  The air that greeted them was positively tropical compared to the outside weather.  Ray heaved Fraser back up and carried him in, kicking the door closed behind them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this last chapter took so long. My grandfather was in ICU for the last three weeks and they weren't even sure if he'd make if for the first week and a half. It is amazing how much more difficult it is to write about someone worried about whether or not a loved one will live or die when you're worrying about the same thing! Thankfully it looks like he will be released to rehab soon.
> 
> At any rate, I hope you enjoyed this story! I've love to read your feedback, if you have any, so don't forget to comment below.

Once in, Ray froze momentarily. What to do first? Everything. Everything needed to be done and needed to be done immediately. Focusing on the wrong could lead to to Fraser’s death. Oh God, he was going to lose Fraser! He was going to die, right here, in his arms and it would be all his fault. He didn’t know enough, he didn’t learn enough. He should have listened better. He was never good at that, listening, not even in school. Fraser was going to die and it would-

Diefenbaker woofed and whimpered, jolting Ray past his panic.

RIght. Warm clothes first.

Ray lugged Fraser over to the bedroom and onto the bed. He turned to Fraser’s wooden dresser. Of course Fraser’s red union suit was folded up very crisply, very neatly in his dresser drawer as if he hadn’t even worn it the night before, which of course he did. Ray took it out and got to work changing Fraser into it. It wasn’t as easy as it was to get Fraser into the parka. Sure he was a dead weight then too, but the union suit was more complicated. Ray had to roll him over, hold him up, and generally manhandle his all too cold body while cursing a blue streak. Fraser would have been appalled by his language if he was with it enough to care, but instead Fraser just blinked dully at him. This only panicked Ray further, which led to more cursing. Finally, he was dressed.

Ray called Dief over. The wolf hopped into bed and settled right against Fraser. Ray covered them both up. Then he pulled all the blankets out of the spruce bed trunk and covered them up with those as well. Then, for good measure, he spread out the parka over them. This left Dief and Fraser in a nest of blankets. Now that Fraser wasn’t being manhandled, his eyes were slipping closed again.

“Keep him awake,” Ray ordered Dief as he hurried out of the room. He could hear Fraser mumbling some sort of complaint as he exited, which assured him Dief was doing just that.

Fire.

Ray had to build up the fire. It felt warm enough in the cabin to him. The wood burning stove could put out heat for hours after it was lasted tended and they were only gone for maybe three hours tops, so it was probably in the low 60s in the cabin. Warm enough normally, but not nearly warm enough for someone with hypothermia. Fraser always insisted on keeping a pile of wood inside the cabin before they’d leave, in case they’d need heat up quickly when they returned. Ray could see the logic of it now. He pulled the flue wide open, pulled open up the cast iron door with a creak, and stirred up the coals. They were still hot and vaguely log-shaped, but black and flameless. Ray whacked at them with the poker until they crumbled, revealing their glowing red hearts. He pushed the coals together. They became excited by the influx of oxygen, and small yellow and blue flames lept out. Ray quickly added several logs, then closed the door mostly but not entirely, leaving just a crack open to to suck more oxygen in.

Fraser would’ve yell at him for leaving the stove open unattended, but all the same, Ray turned his attention to food and water. He couldn’t put Fraser into a warm bath, as he heard others do, because all they had was the round metal washtub that they used for bird baths and to do the laundry in. Fraser’s whole body wouldn’t fit. But they did have hot water bottles-three in fact. One for each of them and the third that Ray insisted on buying when the winter started because, well, it was so cold. So he poured water out of one of their ten gallon storage jugs and into the kettle and put that on the stove. Since the fire was burning well by that point, he closed the stove door.

Food.

Food was easy. While their storage of food was definitely going down, they still had a few weeks left. While Fraser grumbled about it, they didn’t have time to build up a pantry with naturally foraged food since they were on their quest all fall (which was about as snowy as any Chicago winter) so they had relied more heavily than Fraser cared to upon town supplies. This meant that Ray only needed to grab a can of chicken noodle and pour it in a pot to heat. He could feed Fraser the broth and the rest once he was with it enough. He poured it into a pot, added the required water and put that on the stove.

He tested the water in the kettle and, annoyed that it wasn’t warm enough yet, put the kettle back on. He went to the bedroom to check on Fraser.

Fraser was awake, which was something.

“How you feelin’?”

Fraser stared at him quietly for a moment. “Tired,” he said finally, voice still a little slurred. He shuddered slightly.

“I know Frase,” Ray said, comforting himself by brushing a hand gently through his hair. It had grown out some during the course of the winter. Ray had taken to teasing him about it. “But we’re going to get you warmed up.”

“I’ve got to feed the dogs,’ Fraser said, but made no move to get up.   
“I’ve got the dogs, Fraser,” Ray said, his hands still moving through his partner’s hair while his mind spun around all the possible ways this can go terribly, horribly wrong.

“Dief gets hungry after sledding,” Fraser said.

“He’s fine,” Ray said. How he’ll be alone again, in that space between Stella and Fraser but it’ll be worse this time, because this time Fraser would be-

“Dief needs food. He keeps waking me,” Fraser closed his eyes and got another nudge.

“He’s keeping you awake, Fraser,” Ray said. He’s keeping you from dying and probably doing a better job of it than I am.

“Yeah, feed him so I can sleep,” Fraser said, his eyes still closed.

“I’ll do that, Frase,” Ray went back out to check on the water, feeling helpless.

It is very warm, but not too hot. He poured the water from the kettle to the hot water bottles, one after another, making sure to seal each tightly. He grabbed some dish towels and hurried into the bedroom.

“This’ll warm you up, Frase,” Ray announced as he entered the bedroom, holding up the water bottles to display them.

Fraser gave a slow nod, which was lost on Ray as he focused on wrapping the hot water bottles. Once wrapped, Ray pulled up the blankets just enough to tuck the hot water bottles close against Fraser’s body.

Dammit. Ray just realized he could use the leftover water for Fraser to drink. He was conscious, so he could drink now, right? Ray practically fled the room, cursing himself yet again. He was fucking this up, he was fucking it up so badly. He poured the warm water into a mug, then hurried back into the bedroom with that, only to be unsure how to get Fraser from laying in the bed to sitting up and drinking.

In the end, he put the mug down, sat himself at the head of the bed and pulled Fraser up to sit leaning against him with Fraser grumbling complaints but putting some effort to help. Leaning against him, Ray could feel Fraser shiver slightly, on and off. He held the mug up for Fraser to drink, but Fraser took it in his own hands, gulping it down.

“Hey! Slow!” Ray said surprised.

“I’m thirsty,” Fraser said in uncharacteristic sullenness.

“I’ll make you some more,” Ray said, extracting himself out and helping Fraser lean against the pillows. He rearranged the hot water bottles and was alarmed to see Fraser’s eyes close.

“Fraser? Wake up! You can’t sleep,” Ray said, shooting Deifenbaker and look. Why was the wolf suddenly slacking off?

Fraser grumbled but opened his eyes. Fraser was starting to really shiver now. That was good, right? Fraser said it was good, back when he taught him about treating hypothermia, but Ray felt uneasy. He shook his head and left the room.

“This is going well, Ray said out loud, “This is going exactly like Fraser said it should.” Fraser’s not going to die, he tried to convince himself.

He poked at the roaring fire a bit and threw in an extra log. He added more water to the kettle and took the pan off the stove. He poured some of the steaming broth into the mug and cooled it down by adding some water from the jug.

Now, he told himself, he’ll just go into the bedroom with this tepid, watered-down soup and feed it to his partner and everything will be just fine.

Fraser was shivering violently. His teeth clacked audibly as his body moved with enough force to make the bed creak rhythmically. He lay helpless against the tremors that wracked his body.

Fraser has always been in control. Always.

Ray fled the room.

Ray knew this was supposed to be a good sign. Shivering equals good, no shivering equals bad. Shivering could return with rewarming and was the body’s way of trying to heat itself. These facts did not stop Ray’s stomach from flip-flopping around.

“Shit.” He couldn’t give Fraser his broth, not while he was shivering so violently. Their had to be something he could do to help Fraser. Something more than pace around the house, working himself up into a panic. He started pulling whatever blankets he could find around the cabin and depositing them on the bed on top of his shivering partner. He threw more logs into the stove, the poker trembling in his hands as he stabbed at the coals.

Getting an idea, Ray put the pot down and hurried out to the barn. The dense dark clouds that had been in the distance during their trip back home had arrived, bringing fat flakes of snow that drifted down around Ray as he made his way to the barn. The dogs, who had been rushed in unceremoniously, barked and jumped around him excitedly when he entered.

“Get away,” Ray shooed them off miserably. They were blocking his view of the ground. The barn had been built on hard earth and, at this time of the year, it was the only place he’d be able to find rocks, not without having to chop through a foot or more of snow and ice. He managed to gather a small handful despite his zealous “helpers’ and made his way back out, allowing Molly to follow.

Once inside Ray put the rocks on the wood-burning stove to heat them up. He shrugged off his sweater and the flannel underneath and began pacing, his body shaking despite the heat and his breath suddenly coming his desperate gulps. Give him a perp with a gun, he knew what to do. He’d know how to protect Fraser. This, this was beyond him. And God, Fraser... He paused, closing his eyes and seeing Fraser, face down and unmoving in the freezing water.

“Jesus, fuckin-” Ray touched one of the stones to check on it and it was already hot-very hot. He hissed in pain and looked around for something to wrap them in. The dish towels were all being used to wrap up the water bottles. Every blanket in the cabin was covering Fraser. In the end he used his sweater, wrapping all the rocks together in it. Molly followed him.

When he got to the bedroom with them, he nearly dropped the rocks on his toes.

“Fraser! What are you doing,” Ray said, hastily putting them down by the foot of the bed.

Fraser was pushing off the mountain of blankets. Dief had already exited the bed and was sitting in the corner watching and panting.

“Ray, it’s got to be 30 degrees in here,” Fraser said as he started to get up.

“Oh God, it’s, it’s that thing,” Ray could feel himself start to shake. “Right near the end. When you think you’re hot but you’re freezing to death.”

“Ray, I can assure you-”

“You aren’t even shivering anymore,” Ray said as he tried to manhandle Fraser back into bed.

After a moment of resistance, Fraser sighed and let Ray put him back into bed, but then he grabbed Ray’s hands, placing them on his own face and neck.

“I’m warm Ray,” Fraser soothed, “Feel. I’m warm. I’m warm.”

He was. Ray choked. Why the hell was he crying now? But he was. And Fraser was warm. Not dying, not shivering, not floating limply in some God forsaken frozen river. It was he who was now shuddering uncontrollably. His hands moved down Fraser’s body, feeling nothing but warmth. Fraser looked tired, but he was alive, he was alert, he was warm.

“I thought you were dead,” Ray spat out. “I- I thought. You weren’t moving. You weren’t moving at all Fraser. You were in the water and-and you were so cold and….” And I thought I was alone, Ray thought, no longer able to talk through his tears and ragged gasps for air. And I didn’t know what to do. I thought you’d die. You’d die and it would be all my fault. Because I wasn’t good enough. I was never really good enough. I thought you were going to leave me.

And Fraser murmured sweet things to him like: “I’m alive.” and “I’m here.” Things like: “I didn’t die.” and “You did everything right; you saved me.”

Slowly they both quieted. All was still in the cabin. Fraser yawned.

“I need to keep you awake,” Ray whispered, sitting up and out of Fraser’s arms.

“No, not anymore,” Fraser said, reaching out to him. “I’m not cold anymore Ray. Just tired. hypothermia’s tiring.”

Ray sat still for a moment, unsure what to do.

“Would you sleep with me, Ray?”

Ray lay down. He reached out to Fraser, finding him warm and snug in their now overheated cabin. Fraser was okay. He wasn’t alone.


End file.
